Soulmates
by Crystallia Silver
Summary: (MiakaTamahome) A powerful bond that cannot be erased,but when they 're forced by Fate to part forever can their love cross the boundaries of the two different worlds where they originally belong?
1. Default Chapter

Another fanfic about Miaka and Tamahome... this fic is based on the events and dialogues of the third episode of the first ova series ( ''Parting... and then'' ) and the last one of the anime, (I believe they 're linked in some way and together they make the plot more clear to me) but I also added a few things myself. I hope especially the fans of this beautiful pairing will like this story... comments will be appreciated so leave a review so I could know your opinion about this.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own " Fushigi Yuugi" and the characters who are mentioned in the fanfic.  
  
______  
  
Soulmates  
  
" This is as far as you go."  
  
The warrior with the "ogre" symbol glowing on his forehead, his eyes burning with anger, anticipated Tenkou's lethal blow before it reach the seishi and the two Mikos.  
  
Tamahome managed to free himself from the awful clutches of kodoku thanks to Miaka, whose love for him pierced like light through thick gray clouds, the darkness that encircled Tamahome's mind.  
  
Now the warrior had recovered completely from the dark power of kodoku but still there was another unpredictable problem concerning Miaka and Tamahome and their deepest wish to share an everlasting bond beyond realities, to live together.  
  
Unfortunately, how this was supposed to happen since even their happy reunion was going to be short-lived?  
  
" Right. Even if the Tenchisho is sealed, if you two are in the same world, it's useless." Taitsukun explained.  
  
The words, the truth, struck fiercely Tamahome. Miaka was shocked, unable that moment to accept it and waited anxiously - the worry was shown clearly on her face- to hear what more Taitsukun had to say.  
  
Standing close to his miko, Tamahome could feel her nervousness rising, while he also realized that from the moment Taitsukun started to explain their situation, he was holding his breath, as if he was afraid that if he let his breath out, he would hear what he feared the most but... it didn't work.  
  
" It was unreasonable, Tamahome. You cannot live in Miaka's world with your past memories. This is the fate of the Miko and the Sichiseishi."  
  
[ * Tamahome's pov * ]  
  
Hearing this, suddenly I felt so weak... so hopeless... as if I found myself at the mercy of an unknown enemy that couldn't be defeated.  
  
My Destiny itself.  
  
I was almost taken by a powerful urge to grab Miaka by the hand and run, run away somewhere that we could be safe, away from Destiny.  
  
The only thing that stopped me from doing so, was that... I didn't want to believe what I just heard. I REFUSED to believe it. I didn't want to be true.  
  
I couldn't bear it.  
  
I watched Miaka slowly approaching Taitsukun. What she was going to say? I truly needed to know what she was thinking right now...  
  
I just stood where I was, my hands curled tightly into fists from the tension. I couldn't hear what Miaka was telling Taitsukun because she kept her voice low and because of the distance between us.  
  
But after few moments, Miaka spoke her thoughts out loud, a scream of despair, coming right from her frail, yet courageous soul.  
  
" I 'll work hard, so... I 'll do anything. So, please tell me. You 're the one who said that everything is people's feelings. That people's hearts are what create miracles. I don't need to be able to give up! Is that being grown up? If saying that, " it's beyond us" and giving up is being adult then... I don't wanna become one... No, NO! "  
  
It astounded me the strength and passion into her words. Hot tears filled quickly my eyes and fell down my face... we were both hurting the same...  
  
She stood up and drew closer to me and fell in my arms. I pulled her close to me gently and she embraced me back, her face buried in my shoulder. None of us tried to say anything, as we both knew what the other wanted to say to the other, we were feeling the same way...  
  
She pulled away a little so she could be facing me, and I stared into her eyes.  
  
Miaka. My priestess. My angel. My joy and tears.  
  
She meant everything to me but... it was decided to lose her.  
  
I looked at my ring. I was so happy *that* day.  
  
And now...  
  
I slipped off the ring, with pain in my heart, my eyes never leaving Miaka's... I needed her to keep it, to take it with her, the symbol of our bond...  
  
[ * Miaka's pov * ]  
  
Tamahome...  
  
I 've never seen him so much in pain... so broken.  
  
Why?  
  
Why do we have to give up?  
  
Tamahome wanted me to keep the ring... I searched his gaze for few minutes, to see if he needed to tell me something after he placed the ring into my hand... I truly needed to hear something from him at that moment... but really, I was glad he didn't try to say "goodbye". I am sure, none of us wanted to be like this.  
  
We couldn't. It was too much, only to think about it. For both of us.  
  
As I realized he couldn't find his voice from the weight of all these emotions - just like me- I turned around, my eyes were fixed on the ring in my palm as I walked, as if I were afraid to set my eyes on the future and sought for an answer to my questions into this ring...  
  
As I headed to Yui, I glanced at my protectors and dear friends, the Suzaku seishi, who had looked after me during our mission here.  
  
I was going to miss them. We may not were as close as I was with Tamahome, but after all that we have been through together, they affected in many different ways a big part of me and my life.  
  
Forever.  
  
" Thank you." I managed to say as I turned towards them, unable to hold back the tears, " Everyone, thank you." I meant it with all my heart.  
  
Yui and I were ready to leave.  
  
" Kaijin." the bright symbol appeared on Yui's forehead as she was about to make the final wish. My teary eyes met with Tamahome's sorrowful ones.  
  
Was it over?  
  
" Seal the Tenchisho forever. Sever the two worlds completely." Yui spoke and a bright light surrounded us.  
  
His eyes widened in shock. He couldn't do anything now, neither me.  
  
" TAMAHOME !" I shouted out loud in despair before everything disappear from my vision...  
  
We were drifting back to our own world, I was holding on to Yui, my eyes closed. I felt hurt and defeated and that moment I was trying to find some comfort in her, to help me, to do something...  
  
Just pointless thoughts that only proved how desperate I was.  
  
But it almost seemed that Yui somehow read my thoughts and...  
  
" Go to where you belong."  
  
At first, I didn't understand what she was talking about so I forced my eyes to open...  
  
Tamahome's wedding ring.  
  
Maybe it is better that way... than keeping it with me. Maybe. More tears escaped from my eyes, as I buried my face against Yui's chest.  
  
... At that moment, Miaka couldn't have imagined that returning the ring to Tamahome would be the only help he got to find her, the only sacred link back to her...  
  
[ to be continued ] 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
  
The morning was beautiful and sunny, the weather was so nice that made this day perfect for a long walk and ideal for doing anything but staying indoors.

Miaka walked slowly in silence, her gaze facing the ground, with the crowd of students who were talking and laughing happily.

No one seemed to notice, but Miaka's expression betrayed she was deep in thought, unaware of her surroundings except of the comforting touch of the sun warming her face and her broken heart.

" Tamahome," only the thought of her love's name and the painful memory of her recent parting from the world of the four gods, almost brought tears to her eyes, " Will I ever see you again? I miss you too much! It hurts to know you 're somewhere too far away that makes it impossible to reach out for you, feel you near me... but I know you 're hurting too right now... is there something we can do, my love? Tamahome-kun... will I ever... look into your caring eyes, again?" She remembered the first time she saw him; she was enchanted by the color of his eyes - it matched that of a rain cloud- and she fell in love with that intense gaze and she would always keep that moment in her memories.

Right now, she couldn't imagine a particular way to find him and be with him but she realized that her hopes couldn't fade away as long as she knew she would love him forever. That couldn't change, no matter what.

" We 've been through so many things, that sometimes made the idea of us sharing an unbreakable bond, very hard to believe... but we never lost faith in what we shared, isn't it, Tamahome? This is another challenge of fate and I have this little hope inside that we can win, even this time..."

Soon, a familiar, friendly voice distracted Miaka from her personal thoughts.

" Miaka!"

Another girl dressed in school uniform, quickly approached Miaka; she looked happy and a bit surprised to see the auburn-haired student.

" Yui-chan." Miaka cheered up a little, seeing her best friend.

" You should have stayed home. You don't have to push yourself you know." Yui said with a caring tone in her voice.

Being emotionally exhausted and hardly having the courage to to do anything after her sad leaving from the world of the four gods, Miaka stayed at home for a few days, trying to cure her wounded feelings, as she was confronted once again with the perspective of losing her soulmate forever.

However, Miaka decided not to stay at home another day, thinking that she didn't want to make Yui worry too much about her. She couldn't do that. After all, Yui's presence made her feel better; it made think she wasn't completely alone, she had someone who understood her.

" Yeah, thanks. I 'm okay." Miaka reassured her friend. She made a small pause trying to find something more to say, " You 're already going to class. The true elite in class." she emphasized.

They both stopped in front of the school entrance.

" Yui? " Miaka turned towards the other girl who gave her a meaningful look.

" Wanna skip class?" Yui suggested with a smile. Miaka couldn't fool her or hide her true feelings from her. Yui knew that her friend needed fresh air and to be tranquil and it wasn't the time yet for Miaka to add more worries concerning school subjects, at least for that day, while she was still hurting intensively.

Miaka admitted to herself that she was greatly surprised and a questioning expression appeared on her face but quickly changed into a smile. Yes, right now she wanted to be anywhere but in the classroom.

" Sure let's skip."

The two girls turned around and rushed out of the school grounds, just a little before the bell ring.

After some time, while the two friends were enjoying the fine day, Miaka, relieved a little from her deep thoughts, she remembered something very important...

" Yui, I 'm hungry." Miaka informed her friend.

The last days when she was at home and thinking all the time about the last events, it filled her with more sorrow and worry and for that reason, she couldn't eat properly and sometimes although her family prepared for her a tray full of nice things to eat, her favorites, she didn't even touch the food. She behaved just like the first time Tamahome disappeared from her world during their visit to Genbu no Miko's grave. Fortunately, she seemed to feel better now.

" What? Already? " Yui joked, pretending she was surprised at the statement.

" ... Yui-chan." Miaka's voice showed that she was totally serious about it.

Yui gave it up immediately, " Ok, let's get us something to eat, come on, let's go." She also wanted something to eat after their long walk, so Yui and Miaka headed to their favorite tea-shop.

" Welcome!" the shop owner's joyful voice, greeted the two girls as Miaka pushed the door, entering first. The place was quiet and most of the tables were free and while the weather was warm, they decided to sit outside.

Miaka put her school bag on her lap, placing her hands on it... her gaze fell on the ring she was wearing; She eyed it thoughtfully and somehow a new hope and strength flooded her heart. With the other hand she covered the upper side of the other and stroked the ring with her fingertips.

No._They _ wouldn't be separated forever.

She looked up at the clear sky, her emerald gaze brightened with hope.

_ " I 'm here, Tamahome... I' ll wait for you. Please don't lose your hope..."  
  
~ * ~_  
  
[ to be continued ] 


	3. Chapter 3

_" In my life I' ve learned that  
Heaven never waits, no  
Let's take this now  
Before it's gone like yesterday  
'Cause when I'm with you  
There's nowhere else  
That I would ever wanna be, no!  
I'm breathing for the next second  
I can feel you  
Loving me"   
  
"I wanna love you forever",_ Jessica Simpson  
________  
  
Chapter 3  
  
The large full moon lightened the dark room and wrapped in a silver light the lonely figure who was gazing the clear, night sky, sitting on the floor.

" Miaka..." Tamahome whispered faintly in the dark, but no reply came.

From the day she returned back to her world, all his thoughts were concentrated on the beloved girl and yearned for the love and happiness coming from her heart, filling his with dreams and hope...

He remembered their first encounter, now it almost seemed to him like a part of his life that happened too long ago, after all that they have been through. His not so good behaviour towards her when they first met, showed clearly how immature he was back then. Still, though he claimed to be too busy making money to care about romance, he stayed with the girl to help her find her way back home, until fate brought them to the emperor of Konan who revealed to them the truth about the Suzaku no Miko and her seishi. Deep inside, Tamahome felt happy hearing he was one of the seven protectors and Miaka being their priestess. He really wanted to know her better and have her nearby, although he didn't admit it easily.

And so, this is how the mysterious girl with the bright gaze entered his life... and she was the first and the only girl who ever said to him, " I 'm in love with you".

A tear rolled down his cheek, remembering that moment.

Unfortunately, the receiver of this sincere confession reacted to this in a very wrong way, _then_.

However, no matter how he tried to avoid giving in to his feelings for her, Miaka eventually won his heart and very soon she became the centre of his life.

But now, her absence made him miss her like crazy.

There could be no greater gift to him than his Miko's love. Miaka was a bless from Suzaku, a wonderful person that he loved endlessly and vowed to protect her.

But to keep this sacred oath seemed extremely hard as long as Miaka belonged to another world, in whick a seishi couldn't have access to it...

" Oh, Miaka...!" he uttered in pain, clutching his head with both hands, " I could give my life only to see you once more, to feel the warmth of your body... it's been a few months here, in this time, but I haven't forgot about you and never will. If only there was a way to let you know..." He focused his eyes on the wedding ring, worn round his finger...

He couldn't explain it. There was no clear answer how the ring returned back to its possessor, but he remembered that it happened the next day, after Miaka's leaving. He had woken up very early that day - although he could barely sleep- it was still early dawn, but even in the dim light, when he slowly opened his eyes, he discerned a small object laying on his pillow, sparkling brightly in the faint light. He blinked to clear his vision and for a moment he thought he must have been imagining things... his hand trembled slightly as he reached the ring. His wedding ring. He squeezed it gently in his palm, to make sure it was real, that it wouldn't disappear in his touch...

As soon as he realized it was really his ring that he gave to Miaka, he quickly sat up on his bed, staring at the ring with eyes wide open from the shock, while his mind and heart were flooded with an unbelievable feeling of wonder.

However, he didn't let himself believe that Miaka had returned somehow; he would have sensed her presence if she did, not to count that the Tenchisho was already sealed.

... From then until now he considered it as a sign. Not just something that was sent mysteriously to him to remind him forever the happiness he once felt.

So, if it was really a sign about the future, could this mean...

A knock on the door interrupted abruptly the flow of Tamahome's thoughts and almost startle him.

He stood up and turned curiously towards the door.

" Come in."

A hand pushed the door.

It was Chichiri.

" Chichiri?"

" Taitsukun's here, she has something important to say to us all... and especially to you, Tamahome. This is what she said no da."

Tamahome looked at him a bit questioningly, but then nodded and followed the blue-haired seishi through the hallway and the long corridor that leaded to the palace's shrine of Suzaku while his heart began to pound hard with anxiety and a small hope of something that he prefered to remain fuzzy on his mind, afraid that he might be disappointed in the end.

The rest of the seishi were already there, waiting. Taitsukun was with them, floating in the air, with eyes closed in contemplation.

The seishi were well aware that whenever Taitsukun popped in, it was sure that they were going to be surprised by her information. Tamahome hoped that this time Taitsukun had come to them as a messenger of brighter news, or at least of something more bearable than the ones that they were told, the last time they saw her.

He stood there silently with the others and tried not to do anything that would betray his intense worry to them. Anything concerning his feelings and thoughts about his separation from Miaka, he considered it very personal and showing openly how he was feeling to the others, would only make him feel more vulnerable. So, all this time, he kept everything inside of him.

" I will make this short and clear, so listen carefully..." Taitsukun fixed her eyes on Tamahome, " Tamahome, there's a way to be with Miaka again in _her_ world, but there's a price to it... your memory will be affected, in fact you will lose all your memories as they will be sealed inside the Globes of memory."

" Globes of memory?" Tamahome asked.

" It's the only way for you to be reborn in Miaka's world."

The warrior lowered his head, resuming on his mind the given information... but it also mattered to him, and maybe a little more, what his heart was telling him to do...

" That's it!" Nuriko's spirit exclaimed with enthusiasm.

" There's nothing to ponder." Hotohori said, who was also there in his spirit form.

" ...But even in the same time, you probably won't be able to look for her without your memories." Taitsukun didn't miss to give this serious warning to Tamahome.

A pause of silence lingered in the room, before the critical question comes...

" What will you do, Tamahome?" Hotohori asked solemnly.

" Maybe you shouldn't..." Tasuki was more cautious about it. However, he didn't continue his thoughts or express his worries about it, letting Tamahome decide on his own.

_What will you do, Tamahome?_

The question was clear and simple as its own, but also made these moments very critical for the receiver of this question. His and Miaka's future was depending on the answer to that question... and perhaps many other things that could lead them to unknown twists and turns, but it wasn't the time to think about this right now.

" Take your time." Taitsukun muttered hoarsely.

Tamahome turned and walked slowly towards the temple's entrance and stood there, thinking.

The way back to her, back to his true happiness and life, wasn't easy to take, in fact it was the hardest one and he knew it. It wouldn't be like the other time when he was allowed by the gods to find her in her world without his memories being affected or anything else.

But with no memories to hold on to... that could be a problem.

His old self would probably pull back in submission to the unknown risk, choosing the safety of staying in this world but remaining uncompleted forever and more.

A Life without Miaka.

He shut his eyes instinctively at the thought... no, he couldn't take it, because...

" I have been living for her since I was born." the words came out naturally from his lips as he gazed the sky.

All this precious time he spent with Miaka, not only he discovered in her the missing part of his life, but also his way of thinking and character were affected. It felt like he was given a new identity, becoming a better person, a better Tamahome. It was Miaka who taught him through her words and actions not to be afraid of passion, not hesitate to face his own feelings and to trust his heart's voice, the only path to true happiness.

And later, after that night she was forced to return back in her world, he learned something more from her... he remembered the words clearly...

_People's hearts are what create miracles. I don't need to be able to give up!_

... Never give up.

_" That's why Miaka looked so hurt and confused when I gave her my ring. I know. It was like showing her there's was no hope, that I couldn't be hers no matter how much I yearn to... Forgive me for this Miaka, I won't fail you this time, believe me... I know what to do and what I want. Our love back to us."_ the tension of the thoughts made his eyes glisten with tears making more visible the flame lurking in them.

" Tamahome, what are you thinking now?" Taitsukun sensed the seishi's agitation shaking the depths of his existence itself. She was almost amazed seeing how the seishi's love for his Miko could have such strong influence on him.

" Please listen, I know I can do it... for her." his voice was calm and filled with confidence, " I 'm ready to look for Miaka even with no memories, because... I ' m sure that even if everything we have felt and experienced in the past slip away through our hands for reasons that were beyond our control, still, love is what it remains in our heart. All the love that I have felt for her and all that she gave to me so unconditionally cannot be erased. It's the light that it will show me the path back to her. I 'm ready to give a fight for her and for what we have. I owe this to Miaka."

Some of the seishi still looked worried while others seemed content and more convinced by their comrade's words.

" Well, then I guess no one could change your mind if you really feel this way. It is your choice, Tamahome." Taitsukun said steadily, not allowing the others to see from her expression or the tone of her voice whether she agreed with this or not.

" Tomorrow you will be sent to her world just like the other time after I seal your memories... Tamahome, I have to ask... are you sure you want to do this?"

" Yes." The warrior responded firmly.

It was decided.

There's was just one thing, a bitter sensation in Tamahome's heart that fell like a stone into a sea of hopeful thoughts. He was going to be separated from _them_... his Friends. All the time that they 've been together seemed like an eternity now...

...And it hurt.

_ " Miaka also felt like this, wasn't she?"_ Tamahome thought to himself, trying to distract his mind from the sad realization.

He felt a hand on his shoulder.

" Hey, Tamahome."

" Tasuki." muttered the other seishi, looking at him. They smiled. Although he never said it openly, he considered Tasuki as his closest friend and that moment hoped Tasuki knew it.

_" If I say that now, it will sound like I'm saying goodbye to him. I can't. It's just too much..."_ he thought but this wasn't the only reason, as at the same time he was stopped by a cold, weird sense of intuition that someday he was going to regret any words that would express his deep friendship that binded him with the other...

He quickly pushed away this terrible and unreasonable feeling into the darkest part of his conscience and forced himself to find something to say to him.

" Tasuki, thank you, for everything. I will see you all tomorrow before I leave. You know..."

The bandit gave him a smirk.

" Can't stand another minute without Miaka, aren't ya? Don't worry, I have a feeling SHE will find ya first!"

" That would be great." He replied with a smile.

" Hey, don't expect now to do all the hard work for ya!!" he teased him.

" No, of course not. I promise I 'll never give up trying to find her."

Tasuki nodded, " Yeah, yer having a lot to do from tomorrow... better go to rest now."

"Alright..." he replied quietly and they both were about to leave the shrine. He didn't forget to thank Taitsukun for opening him the path to the world of Miaka. The rest of the seishi had already left.

Tamahome got back to his room thinking about Miaka again but without sadness in his heart... he understood the sign he was given, the meaning of having his ring back. It was the real connector he needed to find his only true destiny...  
_Her_.  
  
[ to be continued ] 


	4. Chapter 4

__ Yeah, the fourth chapter is here! Sorry if I kept some of you waiting.  
_Lillian_, thank you for your kind words. _Vi3t BaBiI_ and _littlexgurlz_ I'm happy that you liked my fanfic. My friend _Aravis,_ I appreciate that you  
read my story and especially that you downloaded the first FY ova series to have an idea of what's going on in my fic, thanks :) .

Chapter 4

It was evening in Tokyo, the sun had descented revealing a clear, dark blue sky.

A pleasant breeze coming from the open window made the pages of a book flicker, breaking the complete quietness of the room.

Miaka placed her pen down on the desk and closed her notebook. She had finished her exercise but needed to relax a bit before she proceed reading it a second time to check it for mistakes or to add something she missed.  
She leaned her back to the chair and stretched her arms above her head, " I have more... I'm not done yet. Hopefully I will be able to finish before too late in the night."  
The time for the exams approached and it mattered a lot to Miaka to pass them and for that, she devoted much more time to her studies and aimed for higher grades. She considered these new efforts with her studies very important, it was a goal she wanted to achieve and also helped to drive her attention away from the sadness in her heart, hurting her like a painful sting.

She didn't forget about Tamahome. Actually, she couldn't remember a day that she didn't brought her beloved warrior on her mind, hoping he somehow knew that she was thinking about him... this could be the only way for her to soothe the sense of his loneliness making him feel less pain, so he could recover his inner strength to find a way to be together... unfortunately, it was no longer in Miaka's power to enter the world of the four gods as long as the book was sealed, and that made things more difficult for both of them...

However, Miaka refused to let her hopes fade away, it was the only thing that really gave her courage to go on and the only reason her smile didn't disappear from her face once and for all. She never mentioned his name to anyone or how much she missed him, anything about her secret thoughts, afraid she would be too vulnerable to bear the impact of their words about her hidden hope to be with Tamahome again.

Only one thing made her freeze inside with fear... she kept on pushing it in the darkest corner of her conscience and didn't dare to confess it to herself until this moment... what if Tamahome was... tired of all this, loving a girl from another world, something that only caused him more trouble and sadness after having to separate three times and especially the time when he disappeared after visiting Genbu no Miko's grave. Not only the kodoku plunge his mind into darkness again, but in the end he had to experience the bitter feeling of their parting for one more time... how he was supposed to feel about all this? Really, what if Tamahome couldn't take this anymore and now he was trying to start a new life... without her?

" NO!!" Miaka shouted, slamming her fist hard on the desk causing the books on it to bounce.

" M-Miaka?" Keisuke just opened discreetly the room's door." ...You ok, sis? Um, sorry for interrupting you but dinner is ready, would you like to eat with us now?" he asked with concern, trying to discern her behind the pile of books that hid his sister's face.

" Yes, I'm coming" she said languidly as she rose from her sit. Keisuke looked at her. She seemed a bit rushed.

" Miaka, you alright?" he asked softly, when she reached to her brother.

"... I'm ok, just tired." Miaka reassured him, urging herself not to upset her mind with awful fears.

" Come on, you need a break."

They went to the kitchen.

" But really, if you continue stydying like this, you 'll get higher notes than Yui."

" Yeah, right." She smiled.

" Wanna bet?"

Their mother heard them, " Ah, Keisuke, don't press your sister." she said as she settled the plates with the food on the table.

Miaka liked to sit with her family during meals, it made her feel less lonely though she knew it wouldn't last for too long. No one could fill the empty space whick Tamahome's absence left in her heart. Yes, she had people around her who cared about her like her family and her close friend Yui who she loved dearly, but the point was who she needed the most in her life to feel whole inside, whose presence she yearned all this time.

" Honey, did you like the meal?"

Miaka raised her head and nodded, " Yes it's great, mother."

Ever since Miaka was little, her mother found some simple ways to comfort her daughter, like a warm embrace, a kiss on the head, words of encouragement and of course her cooking... perhaps this was the first time that her mother couldn't really make things better for her, her affection couldn't reach that deep part of her daughter's heart.

After they finished their dinner, Miaka went back to her room.

" Miaka, if you feel too tired you should better go to rest, don't forget tomorrow you have class. It's not prudent to feel exhausted before the exams." her mother told her as she began to take away the dishes. The girl gave her a nod before she leave.

She closed the door of her room behind as she entered and tried to concentrate and finish quickly the rest of her homework. Tomorrow she would continue her revisions for the exams.  
After some time, when she was done, she put the books she needed for tomorrow's class into her bag and prepared to go to bed.

Before she turned off the light, her hand slipped under the pillow as she laid on the bed, finding a small, hidden object, a velvet box and opened it. Inside there was her wedding ring, the proof that she still wanted to keep the traces of the life she shared with her beloved Tamahome... she refused to erase the biggest chapter of her life, the unexpected quest and the people she met, especially Tamahome who had a strong influence on her. All these reformed her as a person, made her more responsible, passionate and capable to endure difficult moments and situations. But most of all, she gave and earned love and through this, she learnt to accept her feelings.

Her mind was lost in a mist of wistful reflections as her steady gaze remained fixed on the ring... 

_" What are you doing now, Tamahome? Hope you 're thinking about me too. There are so many things that I wanted to tell you but couldn't find the right words whenever you were near me. Could you understand it is your very existence that has turned everything upside down in my life? The moment you first kissed me on the forehead I sensed in every fiber of my body, this different kind love and the warmth that rushed over me. It was like a dream, though it didn't last for long... you do exist, somewhere out there and you 're as real as me. I never thought that the other seishi and you are less real than me. I can't believe I missed the chance to say this to you when you were so upset after you learned the truth about your world while you were here, in mine. I know that we need so much to be close but we live in separated worlds and that makes everything so difficult... I couldn't imagine how hard it would to be for both of us to stay together. Right now I need to believe that it isn't beyond our power and will, somehow. I want to wake up one day and be sure that I will be able to see you again and be with you forever. That would make me truly happy."_

She put the ring back in the box, leaving it next to her pillow and turned off the light. Her body relaxed under the covers and fresh sheets, the comfort of her cosy bed swept away her worries concerning her love's possible thoughts and the entrance exams.

A dream visited Miaka that night while she surrendered herself in a quiet sleep.

She found herself in forest, seemingly somewhere in Konan. She moved her gaze down as she examined the red shift she was wearing, and remained dazed for an instant, not knowing exactly where to go when she looked around. Only her strong urge to search for Tamahome guided her way.  
She wandered for quite a long time while checking closely her surroundings, until her steps brought her to a clearing up to a small hill. When she reached the top of it, she dropped to her knees wearily and lifted her head to the sky. Gray clouds hid the sun and began to sent small raindrops to the grassy ground.  
A chill breeze caused strands of hair to tangle on the girl's face and she pulled her bare legs closer to her body, wrapping her arms around them.

She was feeling cold and lost. The emotion was familiar to Miaka and it settled within her heart whenever barriers and dark circumstances emerged to separate her from her soulmate.

Miaka always looked for a way to defend those who were meaningful for her and wouldn't hold back easily. But how she was going to fight without a weapon in hand against Fate itself? She needed a higher power, a ray of hope, anything that could equip her with a new strength...

A prayer to the Phoenix.

Miaka pushed her soaked hair away from her face and knelt, clasping her fingers together and closed her eyes.

" ...Suzaku, I have faithfully followed my destiny in the universe of the four gods and did all I could to fullfil this great purpose of helping to bring harmony in your land together with your chosen ones... during this journey I felt like I belonged there and I know that this world and the friends I met, affected me deeply... especially Tamahome. I felt a true part of this world because of him. All that we earned from each other was the most real thing I ever experienced. Tamahome lived in my world and I lived in his. So if there's still a small light of hope please send me a sign, I need to know the truth more than ever, Suzaku..."

The priestess patiently expected to receive an answer, under the gray clouds and rain. She knew well that if no answer come, there will be no hope of a brighter day, not without _him_...

Miaka's eyes widened when a dazzling, red light pierced through the clouds and then a glowing feather flickered in the air.  
At the sight of the red-coloured feather, memories instantly emerged that brought her mind back to time and reminded her of the moment when the celestial forces of the Phoenix firstly parted her from Tamahome after the battle with Nakago and sent her back to her own world.  
In her dream, the stunned girl stood up and let the feather land lightly on her palm...

It was early morning and the first, mild light of the autumn sun crept in Miaka's room. The soft, rhythmic sound of the wooden clock on the wall, or the sounds coming from the kitchen as Mrs Yuuki prepared the breakfast could be heard in Miaka's room but they didn't disturb her. Actually, the warm blanket that cosily covered her up to her head seemed to secure her serene sleep.

The conversation between her mother and brother that reached her ears was enough to make her wake up.

Her eyes half-opened when she felt a strange, tickling sensation in the inner side of her hand whick was curled in a loose fist...

The surprise she felt was beyond words seeing the bright red, beautiful feather whick smooth surface felt great to the touch... still somehow, in her heart she knew it was a good omen sent from the god that she and her love served.  
Miaka immediately knelt on the bed, her eyes stared with pure amazement at the mysterious gift, when the voice of her mother distracted her.

" Miaka... oh, you 're awake! Come, the breakfast is ready."

" Yeah, I'm coming!" she answered with a smile.

Mrs Yuuki was happy to see her daughter in her usual mood, unlike yesterday when something seemed to keep Miaka's mind preoccupied.

Miaka sat at the table with her brother who still looked a bit sleepy.

" Hi, Keisuke."

" Good morning, sis. Slept well?"

Miaka remembered the dream and nodded positively. She sat at the table and reached for the toast and her cup filled with chocolate.  
She finished quickly her breakfast as usual and prepared herself for school. She washed her face, took off her pajamas and wore the familiar school outfit. It was one of the last times she would dress in that particular uniform, as from the next season in high school she would be wearing a different one.  
Miaka brushed her hair and senselessly searched for the two ribbons to bind her hair in two buns as she used to, but she remembered that she liked more to leave her hair down, falling freely on her back.  
Before she leave the room she put the mysterious feather in her palm, her eyes studying it intently for a long moment and then she placed it carefully in the pocket of her white shirt.

" Miaka, are you ready for school?" the mother's voice was heard.

" Yes, I'm leaving now." she grabbed her bag and exited the house.

She smiled as the first light of the morning sun touched her face...

to be continued... 


End file.
